How to Save A Life
by finngasm
Summary: All he did was stand there even after she had disappeared further into the hospital, even after a nurse had come out and told him that Rachel was admitted and seemed to be cooperating. His girlfriend hated him and while he was more than aware that he did the right thing for her, a part of him wished that he could have saved her earlier, that it hadn't had to come to this. AU


AN: This is basically a short story that I wrote for my Creative Writing class last semester. I had a lot of inspiration from Finchel clearly, so I decided to change the names of the characters I used and add some smut to make it into a one-shot. Hope you guys enjoy! I promise I'll try to write more often!

Disclaimer: Clearly Finn and Rachel are not my characters.

Please understand that this fic deals with the subject of an eating disorder so please don't read if that's something triggering to you!

* * *

The bright yellow taxi cab came to a halt as it pulled up to the curb, arriving at its destination. After paying the fare, a tall man emerged from the car, his amber eyes full of wonder as he looked up at the buildings around him. A duffel bag was slung over his shoulder and he barely even realized when the cab pulled away, leaving him standing on the sidewalk, busy New Yorkers going about their lives all around him. However, the fast pace that was New York City seemed to slow to a stop as Finn gazed up at the buildings that seemed to stretch endlessly into the sky. The city was vast, unlike anything a small town man from Ohio was used to. While the city was dark and grey, filled with scowls on drivers and pedestrians' faces as they made their way to work, the endless opportunities the city provided seemed to fill it with a color brighter than anything he had ever seen before.

Finn stood tall at six foot three, his shoulders broad as the fabric of his worn t-shirt pulled tightly across his chest. There was almost an aspect of something worn about him, the palms of his hands calloused from many years of hard work as he tucked them into his pockets. His jeans were worn as well, the denim faded and creased. A simple pair of black converse adorned his feet, a comfortable shoe that seemed to fit perfectly with his personality. Dark brown hair sat atop his head, messy and unkempt yet appearing as if he had styled it just so. An excited expression rested comfortably on his face, a look that he had worn for quite some time despite inner demons that often lurked deeper within. Amber eyes reflected the sunlight, giving them a hazel appearance when the light rested against them. There was a dusting of freckles just across his nose and cheeks, some of them disappearing when he smiled as his dimples caused the skin to crease. He had thin lips, ones that often pulled up into a lopsided grin as he laughed. His voice was rich and slightly raspy, yet it was one many would just stop and listen to as it had an endearing quality to it. A warm scent lingered around him, inviting and pleasant, one that often drew people in and kept them around.

Moving to New York City was a large leap of faith for Finn Hudson. After graduating from the University of Chicago, he had been presented with an opportunity to direct a play. It had been the big break that he was hoping for and while it was a risky one, it was more than worth it to him. The move to the bigger city was one he intended to make for a while, so, in actuality, everything seemed to be going just as he planned. It didn't take long for him to get settled in his small studio apartment and he couldn't help but visualize just how large his apartment could be once he became successful. This small apartment symbolized the beginning. It showed him that although he was starting off somewhere small that he would get somewhere one day. There was no doubt in his mind that he was going to be a big time director. He was going to be the one that his directing classes spoke of one day, he was going to discover talent and bring their abilities to light in amazing plays and movies.

It only took a week for Finn to fully settle into his apartment, for him to really feel as if New York City was his home. This was the place where all of his dreams were going to come true, where his life was surely going to change. That was something that he was sure of. As he walked into the theater – the place where he would be directing his first off-Broadway production – he made his way towards the table where both the writer and producer were seated. Both of them seemed nice enough and Finn thanked the two over and over again. He was thrilled to be given this opportunity and by the amused looks on their faces, it was clear that they knew he was excited. While all Finn wanted to do was jump in and start working on the production of the play itself, the first thing that they had to do was hold auditions.

It was a slow, grueling process and some of the people that walked onto the stage only got a few lines into their songs before they were sent off. Finn was quiet for most of the audition process, letting the producer and writer have more of a say since he found himself a bit nervous that his opinions could be wrong. After all, he was just starting out and while he had taken many different classes on the subject, he didn't have the life experience that the other two men beside him seemed to emit. However, when one particular girl stepped out onto the stage, Finn's attention immediately perked up. As she began to sing, it seemed almost as if there was a spotlight zeroing in on her and her voice immediately drew him in as his eyes focused on her carefully. Finn flipped through the papers that were on the table in front of him, his fingertip brushing across the page as he searched for her name. _Rachel Berry_. His eyes returned to the girl who was still singing on stage and he knew that this was the girl. This was the one he wanted working on his production.

The girl was of an average height, her long brown hair cascading down along her shoulders as she stood center stage. Her hands were rested at her sides, although he could see her hands fingering the fabric of her light pink dress, displaying her nerves in a way that her strong voice didn't show whatsoever. Rachel had large eyes – dark brown – that shined with something he couldn't place as she sang. There was a smile pulled up on her lips as she continued to sing, her nose crinkling up every time she opened her mouth wider to reach a particularly difficult note. Her skin was a light tan and it appeared smooth and flawless, just as her voice was as she continued to effortlessly sing through the song that she had picked for the audition process. On her feet was a comfortable pair of black flats, her feet angled inwards slightly, another one of the only small signs that exposed her nerves. It was clear to him that she had been through this process before with the way that she presented herself, although it didn't seem that she had much prior experience. She was new at this just like he was and that seemed to make her appeal to him even more than just the flawless sound of her voice.

Before anyone could even take a breath as Rachel finished her song, Finn stood up from his seat and started clapping, a wide smile on his face as he looked up at the girl on stage. "She's it. She's our Cassandra," he said, his voice strong and confident. Both men seated beside him looked up at him with looks of surprise on their faces, used to his usual silence. After talking amongst themselves briefly, they shared a smile before nodding. "Miss. Rachel Berry, you have a callback." Finn smiled happily as he could see Rachel trying desperately to contain her excitement. She sent a thankful look his way as she walked down from the stage, fully aware that he was the reason that both men seemed to agree with him so quickly. As she walked over to them, she shook their hands, his last as a bright smile spread across her face. "Thank you." There was a truly grateful tone that Finn heard in her voice and he shrugged, not wanting to take the credit that was clearly due to her pure talent. The second her hand met his, he felt a spark shoot up from his palm along his arm and she shook his hand a bit longer than the other two men before she pulled away slowly. He couldn't help but smile as he watched her walk out of the room, an excited bounce in her step from accomplishing a callback, something that only a handful of other girls had managed to achieve before her. Finn knew that she was their girl though; it wasn't even a choice for him.

* * *

It took them a couple months to narrow everyone down, but they finally found their cast and it was an easy choice when they selected Rachel as their leading lady. While it wasn't a Broadway play, Finn was positive that it was one that would get them a lot of attention. It was one that could kick start all of their careers and present them with opportunities that were unimaginable beforehand. Readings of the script began immediately and he threw himself into his work, making sure that everything was just right so that they could get the most out of this production. So that the audience could get the most out of what he thought was an absolutely amazing story. He worked late into the night – after the cast had all gone home – just so that he could make sure that everything was perfect. That everything would be exactly as the writer had intended it to be. That all the emotions the writer had written would be conveyed clearly to the audience that would be attending their show.

"You're an amazing director. I hope you know that, Finn."

Finn's head shot up from the script he had been scribbling notes down on as he heard what had become a very familiar voice over the weeks they had been working together. A smile pulled up at the corner of his lips as he eyed Rachel who was seated on the edge of the stage while he was in one of the center seats in the audience. She had one leg crossed over the other as she swung them back and forth. Both of her hands were on either side of her, resting on the stage as she tapped them against the wood, playing a beat as if she was listening to a song in her head.

"Thanks, Rachel. I – um, I'm trying really hard. I want this play to be perfect… to be amazing. This isn't just going to jumpstart my career, you know? It's for all of us. I want all of us to be going places from this." A small smile was on her face as he spoke, something that Finn didn't exactly realize as he rambled on, the excitement to be working on his first larger scale production completely evident.

"It's going to be amazing because we have you." Rachel continued to smile at him, something that caused a slight blush to rise up on the back of his neck as he looked at her. He watched her carefully as she hopped off the stage, smoothing out the material of her dress as she walked over to him and sat down beside him. "Already making changes?" she asked him, leaning her head in closer to him as she peeked down at the script that was covered in his messy handwriting. Her elbow rested on the armrest beside him, her hand so close to his that a part of him wanted to reach out and take her hand in his. He had wanted to feel how wonderfully her hand seemed to fit in his once more ever since her first audition. Finn could smell the flower scented perfume that she was wearing, completely overwhelming his senses as his eyes gazed over her face. She was leaning in so close to him and he couldn't help but admire every detail of the girl beside him. Rachel's long brown hair that was typically let down was now tied up into a tight pony tail, her hair slightly curled as it reached the middle of her back. Her eyelashes were long and free of that clumpy mascara all girls seemed to wear. There was a light shade of brown just above her eye and he knew it was her makeup that he had seen her applying at their rehearsal earlier that day. He could see the small beauty mark that rested just by the pulse point on her neck, the only mark that was on her perfectly smooth and flawless skin. God, he couldn't help but want to lean forward and press his lips to that mark. Finn didn't hear when she repeated her question, him barely even realizing that he had yet to answer her. However, when she waved her hand in front of his face and a giggle escaped her lips, he blinked repeatedly and snapped back into reality. It was strange to him how her soft giggle sounded like music to his ears but he was pretty sure he had never heard such an amazing laugh before in his life. "I – I'm sorry, what did you say?" Finn smiled nervously, realizing that it was extremely obvious that he had just been caught staring at the beautiful girl beside him.

"You know what; do you want to get coffee?" That was a question that Finn heard and he barely even thought about the fact that this was a co-worker of his before he immediately accepted her request.

One small coffee date between co-workers, turned into a few small dinner dates before the two decided that they wanted to make things official between them. For Finn, being able to call Rachel his girlfriend was the best feeling in the world. The two of them together was something that easily clicked and they fell into a comfortable relationship together. At work things were always kept professional (for the most part, he wouldn't lie she had dragged him to her dressing room a few times) but afterwards Finn was always happy to be able to spend time with his girlfriend. While he was more relaxed and easy going, Rachel was a bit more ambitious and reserved. Their differences seemed to balance each other out, however, and it was clear to everyone around them that they were a perfect match.

* * *

It was one evening that Rachel was over at Finn's apartment – as she typically was – that caused their relationship to become an even more serious one after only a few months.

"I can't believe this! My horrible roommate got the landlord to kick me out because I have a dog! How is that even allowed?" Rachel complained as she sat beside Finn on the couch. The two of them were supposed to be watching a movie but it seemed as though she was more focused on venting to him. He couldn't help but chuckle softly before he paused the movie and turned to face her, his arm draped over her shoulders as he had her tucked against his side.

"Maybe it's because it says on your lease that you're not allowed to have a dog, baby," he told her. He ran his hand soothingly up and down along her arm and he couldn't help but find the pout that formed on her face adorable. Sometimes Finn just found himself admiring how perfect Rachel was and he knew that he hadn't felt like this about anyone before. This was the real thing, he was sure of it.

"It's still not fair. I refuse to live with my dads again. My Papa is going to remind me about how being an actress isn't a stable career and that I should go back to school." Rachel started to get herself more and more worked up and before Finn even realized what he was saying, the words escaped his lips.

"You can live with me."

Rachel stopped talking and turned her head to look up at him in slight shock. Immediately Finn was nervous that he had said something wrong and he started laughing nervously as he looked down at the floor. Shit. He had definitely ruined everything.

However, Rachel brought her hand to his cheek and tilted his face gently so that he would look at her and he was shocked to find a small smile on her face.

"You want me to live with you?"

Finn nodded before he gave her a small smile, his eyes filling with hope as he looked at his girlfriend. When an excited grin broke out onto her face, he couldn't help but feel even happier. This was the beginning of their life together and he knew it would be amazing.

"Did I mention that you can bring your dog too?" he told her.

With an excited squeal, Rachel threw her arms around him and crashed her lips to his. The two of them kissed passionately, tongues eagerly exploring each other's mouths as they celebrated. Finn had never lived with one of his girlfriends before – none had ever been that serious – and he was excited to live with Rachel. He was excited to have her as a part of his everyday and he could tell she was excited too.

"I think we should celebrate for the rest of the night," Rachel whispered as she hitched her leg over his lap and moved to straddle him. The movie playing on the TV might as well have been non-existent as he looked up at his girlfriend. Her lips were swollen from their kisses and her lip gloss smudged in a way that just made him want her even more. God, she was perfect. Before he could suggest them moving into his bedroom, her lips were on his neck as she yanked his t-shirt over his head, letting the fabric fall to the floor. Finn could already tell she would be leaving quite a few marks on his neck but he couldn't even find it in himself to care.

Her hips started rocking against his and Finn could feel himself getting more turned on with every movement. His large hands slid down to the hem of her dress before he pulled it up and over her body, his eyes darkening with lust when he realized she wasn't wearing a bra. With her breasts exposed to him, Finn leaned his head forward to shower her chest with kisses. A smirk pulled up at the corner of his lips when his mouth found her nipple, causing a moan to escape Rachel's lips as his tongue swirled around the hardened nub.

"Fuck… Finn," she whimpered, her hands tangling in his hair as she kept his face buried in her breasts while she continued to practically fuck him through their clothes. He dragged his lips from her right breast to the left, wanting to give the other equal attention. Finn knew that he would never get tired of the moans that he could get out of her. He knew how to play her body like an instrument, getting all the right sounds and reactions out of her that he wanted.

While Rachel loved his mouth tending to her breasts, she grew impatient and slid her hands down to his pants, lifting her hips only to pull them down along with his boxer briefs. Finn helped her get them off the rest of the way and he made sure to rip off the fabric of her panties. He was sure she would yell at him for ripping them later but for right now, all they needed was each other.

Their breathing was ragged as Rachel positioned herself above him, her eyes fluttering shut from pleasure. Finn moved to grip his cock before he started teasing her opening with his tip, running it up and down and coating it in her wetness as he bit down on his lip. Rachel's hands gripped tightly at his shoulders, her nails digging into his skin as she moaned in pleasure. Finn couldn't take his eyes off of her as wetness gushed out of her. He loved how turned on he could get her and he knew that he needed her just as badly as she needed him. "Fuck Finn, stop teasing me," she demanded before she sank down onto him, the both of them moaning as their bodies joined. His cock filled her completely and while Finn had sex before in his life he knew it had never been as good as it was with her. "God, Rach, you feel so fucking good," he breathed out, his hands on her hips as he squeezed gently. A strangled moan was her only response as she began thrusting herself against him, their bodies meeting with loud smacks as she moved against him hard.

It was clear that neither of them were going to last long. There was too much excitement and too much teasing for this to be a long and intense love making session. This was pure fucking and Finn knew they both needed it desperately. His hand snaked between their bodies as he searched for her clit. Immediately he started rubbing the swollen nub quickly and he groaned as she moaned loudly, throwing her head back as she moved against him even faster.

"Oh God, Finn! Right there baby! Oh fuck...Oh!...I'm...Oh! Oh _Finn…_ I – I'm gonna…"

Finn groaned as he felt her muscles clench around his cock along with a gush of wetness as she went over the edge. He couldn't even find the self control to hold himself back anymore and with a deep groan he came into her hard. Their bodies moved together wildly as they rode out their highs and when they finally came down, Rachel collapsed against him.

His hand moved gently up and down along her back as he struggled to catch his breath, a content smile on his face as she looked up at him.

"Finn? Do you want to christen the rest of _our _apartment?"

It was safe to say that neither of them got much sleep that night. And they definitely never watched that movie either.

* * *

Shortly after moving in together, their play reached the end of its run. While the play had been a huge success, both he and Rachel wanted to move onto bigger and better things. Finn himself wanted to move into movie directing and Rachel had gotten a huge debut role in a Broadway play. His career was slightly stagnant since the end of their play but he was extremely happy for his girlfriend since it seemed all of her dreams were going to come true sooner than she could have hoped for.

However, as the weeks slowly dragged on Finn found himself bored and searching desperately for work. He never seemed to get to see Rachel anymore since she was always constantly busy with rehearsals and while he was proud of her, he missed his girlfriend. Finn missed getting to just lay around the apartment with her and watch movies, he missed being able to have those deep talks with her about their futures that lasted into the early hours of the morning. And he definitely missed the constant sex.

When he arrived home from yet another rejection from a job interview and found Rachel in their bedroom staring at her image in the mirror, he smiled softly at her. It made his day when he could just see his girlfriend after a long and stressful day. Finn came up from behind her before he wrapped his arms around her waist and tugged her close to him. He dipped his head down to press a kiss to her shoulder and he smiled against her smooth skin when he felt her small hands rest over his larger ones.

"Hey, Rach. How was work?" he asked her, his gaze meeting hers from the mirror in front of them. She looked sullen; a look that he noticed was on her face much more often lately since her production had gotten a new director. He was supposed to be some big shot director but Finn hadn't heard the best things about him.

"It was okay. I just got off the phone with Hanna. Apparently the director told her that if I don't start working out more and shed some weight that he's going to let my understudy take my role."

Those words caused Finn to pull back from Rachel before he stepped in front of her image in the mirror and looked down at her worriedly. "What do you mean? You're a stick, you don't have to work out more," he told her, not understanding why anyone would tell someone as petite as Rachel that she needed to exercise. Already he found himself annoyed with this new director, hating the way that he was affecting his girlfriend. It didn't help that one of her co-stars – Hanna – seemed to force Rachel along with doing whatever their director said to do.

"Finn, don't be ridiculous. I'm not a stick. It's not like I don't have some excess weight I wouldn't mind letting go of."

"If you're trying to say you're fat, I'm going down to your rehearsal and punching that dickhead in the face," Finn said, clenching his hands into fists at his sides in anger.

Rachel narrowed her eyes at him before she huffed in annoyance. "Are you really that immature, Finn? He's a professional. He knows what he's talking about. If you do anything to jeopardize my role in this play then I promise you I will make you regret it," she said before storming past him and into the bathroom. Finn had a strong feeling that he would be sleeping on the couch that night.

It turned out, he was correct and the couch had been his bed for the night.

Rachel always seemed to be with Hanna and he didn't like the way that hanging out with the other girl made his girlfriend act. She seemed colder towards him and their friends. In fact, all she seemed to do was spend time with Hanna, the two of them always going to the gym or going to Central Park for a run. He hated not being able to see his girlfriend and the tension between the two of them because of their fight was felt every single time they were in the room together. Finn figured that was why Rachel avoided him every chance she got.

The distance between the two of them was increasing and that was the last thing that he wanted to continue. So, one night when Finn knew that Rachel would be getting home early from work, he made the two of them a romantic dinner. He made her favorite food – eggplant parmesan and he used the nice silverware and plates that they usually only saved for when either of their parents came to the city to visit the two of them. Finn dressed himself in nicer clothing, a button down shirt along with a nice pair of pants and he sat himself down at the dinner table, the glow of the candlelight creating the perfect romantic glow. When Rachel walked in the door, he immediately noticed the dark bags under her eyes, the way that she seemed to carry herself a bit weaker than she typically did. It worried him that she was overworking herself and he wanted to take her mind off of everything for a little while. Her eyes widened as she took in the scene before her and Finn smiled at his girlfriend, his dimples appearing on his cheeks as he watched her reaction closely. All he wanted was for his surprise to improve her mood, to bring his favorite smile of hers right back onto her face, that smile that she usually saved just for him. "I – Finn, what is this?" she asked him as she slipped off her shoes by the door and stepped closer to the table, still eying over the dinner that he had prepared for them. She didn't exactly look excited and he watched as her nose wrinkled up slightly when her gaze landed on the food he had cooked. "It's your favorite. I know that you've been really stressed with work lately and well, I've been here just sitting around. I wanted to do something nice for you, Rach. I wanted to see that pretty smile of yours again."

The words he had spoken seemed to have the opposite effect of what he intended when he saw her face crumple and her dark brown eyes fill up with tears. Before he could say anything more or get up from his chair to wrap her up in his strong embrace, Rachel ran past him and into their room, the door slamming closed behind her. Finn sat at the table confused and alone, staring down the hallway and at their bedroom door for about an hour before he cleaned up the food he had prepared and blew out the candles. He didn't understand her behavior and while they typically spoke about everything, she began ignoring him every single time he tried to talk to her. When he woke up one morning and found no crease in the pillow beside him, no lingering scent of the girl he had grown to love so much, he knew that there was something very wrong. It was her day off and she typically slept later into the day but it seemed that she had been trying to avoid him and stay as far away from him as possible as the days dragged on.

* * *

So, he confronted her when she finally arrived back at the apartment from wherever she had been off to. Rachel was wearing dark, baggy clothes that seemed to hang off of her thin body and he noticed a light sheen of sweat on her forehead. She had been going for a run – again. Finn didn't understand what this obsession was but his only thought was that perhaps she wasn't always working out. Maybe she was using that as an excuse, as a cover-up for something else that was going on. The only thing that he could even think of was that she had been cheating on him.

"Rachel, we need to talk." He told her the second that she walked in the door, causing her to look up at him in slight shock. Finn couldn't help but notice that the light in her eyes seemed to be gone, that she seemed to be a shell of the girl he had fallen in love with.

"What do you want, Finn? I have plans with Hanna soon and I have to take a show – "

"Have you been seeing someone else?" The second the accusation left his lips, her big, doe eyes narrowed into angry slits and the dull look in her eyes was replaced with one of pure anger. At least he knew that meant she was still in there somewhere.

"How dare you accuse me of that, Finn! How dare you! I can't believe you right now. You know me; you know that I would never cheat on you!" Rachel was completely outraged and Finn knew that the neighboring apartments could probably hear her from how loudly she was screaming at him. But he couldn't help but defend his claim when there seemed to be no other explanation as to why she was behaving the way she was. Finn said stupid things when he was angry and this was no exception. Sometimes he let his emotions get in the way of thinking his words through before he let them out. However her avoidance of him had hurt his feelings and all he wanted was an answer, all he wanted was to know what he had done wrong.

"I don't know, you slept with me when I was your director. Who's to say that you won't do it again?" he spat, venom in his voice as the two of them glared at each other. Rachel flinched as though he had slapped her across the face and he could see the anger fade away into sadness. Sadness put there from his stupid comment he had made without thinking about it first. Immediately he opened his mouth to speak but before he could find any words to say, her hand met his cheek – hard.

The sound of the slap seemed to resonate throughout the whole apartment and Finn gaped at her, feeling the stinging that was on his cheek. His pale skin stung red as he stared at his girlfriend. While he knew that he more than deserved that for what he had said, he couldn't help his stubborn nature and instead of apologizing, he stormed off into their room and closed the door behind him roughly. As he sat down on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands and his fingers tangled through his messy dark hair, he could hear her soft sobs from the living room. All Finn wanted to do was hold his girlfriend in his arms and let her know that everything between them was okay but he couldn't find it in himself to help her when he was still so angry and frustrated.

The two of them, stubborn in nature, didn't talk for days and while Finn knew that they had to speak eventually, he couldn't find the words that would make things right between them. In fact, there was a part of him that felt she was the one that needed to apologize to him. After all, she had been the one avoiding his existence at all costs for months. It wasn't until he received a phone call from Hanna, telling him that Rachel had passed out at her apartment that he rushed to where his girlfriend was as fast as he could. When he arrived at the apartment, Finn immediately called 911.

"What the hell, Hanna? Why didn't you call the hospital? Oh my god," he said, his voice panicked as he gathered Rachel into his arms.

"Do you have any idea what this can do to my career? She's the one with the eating problem, not me! I'm skinny!" Hanna said as she stared at his unconscious girlfriend. It was in that moment he felt just how thin and tiny Rachel really was. Finn hated that he could feel the ridges of her bones through the thin material of her clothing and he felt sick just thinking about what she had been doing to herself.

"You've known that she's been doing this to herself?"

"The director wanted her to slim down. If we don't have a lead, we don't have a show. I was just helping her out. That's what you need to do in this industry, no matter the cost," Hanna told him.

"Don't even think about talking to her again after this, Hanna. Now you don't have a lead and I hope your show goes to hell," Finn said angrily. It wasn't long before the paramedics arrived and Rachel was rushed to the hospital, him alongside her in the ambulance. Right away she was admitted and the doctors explained to him how he had gotten his girlfriend there in the nick of time. Finn couldn't believe that Hanna had almost let his girlfriend die and when the doctor explained to him that Rachel only weighed a mere eighty-five pounds, Finn felt like he was going to pass out. The fact that his girlfriend had been doing this to herself made him feel sick. As he sat beside her while she rested in the small hospital bed, he couldn't help but take everything about her in. It was what he always did when he looked at her, admiring all of her features.

Rachel was perfectly thin, there was never anything overweight about her and as he looked at his girlfriend, still unconscious as she lay there, he finally took in the features of her that he had been missing for months. Her collarbone was protruding slightly, her soft tanned skin seemed more pale than usual, it seemed imperfect in a way that it never had before. There were dark circles beneath her eyes that made her face look thinner than usual, that gave her almost a deadly look to her. The hospital gown was extremely loose fitting, the sleeve hanging off her shoulder, barely even grazing her skin. Her big and beautiful personality seemed dim and while she had always been smaller than him, he felt like a giant as he looked at his tiny girlfriend.

A couple of days had passed within the hospital and while Rachel had thanked him for taking care of her, she seemed insistent on explaining to everyone that she was perfectly fine. Finn knew that he had to do something. Even if it meant that Rachel hated him for it, he had to take care of her and make sure he didn't lose her. Already he had come too close and he wasn't about to let that happen once again. So, Finn spoke with the doctors, who spoke with a hospital that specialized in re-stabilizing women with eating disorders. It broke his heart to be doing this behind her back but it was also something that needed to be done. After just a couple more days, Finn had gotten Rachel into the rehabilitation program. All that needed to be done next was for him to take her there himself.

* * *

While she was resting, Finn scooped her up into his arms before he brought her out to the taxi that he had waiting outside for them. Half way into the car ride, Rachel's eyes fluttered open and when she saw him, she immediately retracted from his grasp.

"Where are we going? I – I what happened?" Her voice was fearful as she looked at him. Finn looked into her eyes and he could tell that she knew he was up to something. "I'm sorry that I accused you of cheating on me. I know that you wouldn't do that and I know that you wouldn't sleep with someone for a role," he whispered softly, his voice cracking slightly just as his heart did when they arrived at their destination. Finn got out of the car and hesitantly, Rachel followed him. Her gaze was so focused on him that she barely even registered their location. "It's okay, Finn. I'm sorry I slapped you… and I'm sorry that I've been distant lately. It's not because I don't love you. I just need to get back to work. What happened with me passing out… it was just exhaustion. I promise that I wouldn't starve myself like the doctors are trying to say I am. I'm okay and I want us to be again too." He nodded at her words, a pained smile on his face as he took her small hand in his and led her forward, into the building that she hadn't bothered to look up at. His fingers laced through her slender ones as he tugged her gently along with him, his grip firm yet hesitant as they walked forward.

It was only when she realized that they were in a rehabilitation center for people with eating disorders that she ripped her hand from his.

"What the hell? There's nothing wrong with me. I want to go home. Finn, please just take me home," she begged, her big eyes full of fear as she looked at him. He could see that she was angry; he could see that she was terrified but he knew that she needed him. There was no way that he was going to let this continue when her sickness could kill her. He couldn't lose the girl that had made New York City a home for him unlike any apartment could. "You're going to get better here, Rach. You'll get better here," he told her, nodding as if he was trying desperately to confirm that he was telling the truth. As if this wasn't something that she would have to struggle with for the remainder of her life. His girlfriend was starving herself and there was no way that he could just sit by and let it happen the way her friend apparently had. There was no job, no opportunity that was more important than her well being. When two nurses walked into the small waiting room that they were standing in, Rachel immediately spun around and tried to run for the door. However, Finn was too quick for her and he caught his stick thin girlfriend in his arms, trapping her against his chest as he led her further into the hospital.

When one of the nurses grabbed a gentle hold of her wrist, tears started pouring down Rachel's face and she spun around to look at him with more anger than he had ever seen before. "I hate you! I hate you for doing this to me. We're done! You're ruining e-everything, I wish I never met you," she screamed at him as she struggled slightly against the nurses grasp, tears continuing to rush down her face. Finn barely even realized that he had tears of his own falling down his face until he moved his hand up to brush against his cheek. He rubbed at his tears in frustration, his hands brushing away at the damp skin of his cheeks as he looked after his girlfriend, heartbreak resonating throughout his body. All he did was stand there even after she had disappeared further into the hospital, even after a nurse had come out and told him that Rachel was admitted and seemed to be cooperating. His girlfriend hated him and while he was more than aware that he did the right thing for her, a part of him wished that he could have saved her earlier, that it hadn't had to come to this.

The absence of Rachel was immediately felt and as the days dragged on, Finn found himself restless without her. Finn stopped looking for work. While he knew he had to, he couldn't bring himself to get up and out of bed. He couldn't bring himself to do anything except lay there. His chin was covered in scruff as he stared up at the ceiling, unmoving as the pain his heart was feeling seemed to carry on with him every day. It had been clear from their last interaction that Rachel wanted absolutely nothing to do with him, so, Finn had decided not to attempt to see or contact her. If she wanted to see him, she would see him. The last thing he wanted to do was be around her if she didn't want him anymore. As Finn rested on the unmade bed, he held a small, black velvet box in his hand, opening and closing it slowly. Before all of their fighting and all the avoidance, Finn had been planning on proposing to Rachel. He knew that he wanted her and only her for the rest of his life. However, now it seemed as though he wouldn't have that. The best part of his life was over and it seemed as though he still had to find a way to get up and continue on once more.

* * *

Two months passed by and while he had spoken with Rachel's parents, who told him that she was getting back on her feet, Finn had yet to hear from her. He wasn't sure if he still had a girlfriend, he wasn't sure if he still had his best friend. However, life continued to move forward despite him just wanting it to stop so he could gather himself. It took a few of his friends (mostly Puck) coming over every day to drag his ass out of bed, but Finn finally started getting back on his feet and looking for work once more. While he wasn't yet presented with the opportunity to direct a movie, he was given yet another play. It wasn't exactly what he wanted but it was work and it was what he needed in order to keep the larger sized apartment that he had now, especially since there weren't two people paying for it this time around.

Finn sat in the empty theater after rehearsals, his eyes gazing over the script blankly as he became lost in his thoughts. So much had changed in the two years that he had lived in New York City. While the city itself seemed to continue on relentlessly like the current of the ocean, unchanged and unstoppable, Finn himself felt frozen in place. He felt stuck. While two years prior his handwriting took over the script along with his passion for what he did, all he could manage with the script in his hands was a few notes here and there. His eyes were duller than they once were, his face worn from months of worrying, from months of heartbreak and confusion over where exactly his future stood. His thoughts lingered onto the ring that was still in the drawer of his bedside table, one that he had imagined would be on the left hand and third finger of the girl that he had to so painfully let go of.

"You're an amazing director. I hope you know that, Finn." Those words, just like two years before, caused his head to snap up from the script that he hadn't even really been looking at as his eyes landed on the girl that had changed his entire life. Before he could say anything, before he could ask her when she had gotten out of the hospital, she continued to speak. "You're also an amazing boyfriend and I hope that I haven't ruined that. I know the last things I said to you weren't right and I'm so sorry that I couldn't see at the time that all you were doing was trying to help me. You were doing what any truly caring and loving person would have done. I still love you, Finn. I hope I'm not too late." Rachel stepped down nervously from the stage as she looked towards him. Her hands were resting by her sides as she took a few steps towards him, her tongue darting out to lick her dry lips, a movement he had noted a while ago as one of her nervous tendencies.

Finn set the script that he had been holding aside before he got up from his seat and stepped closer to her. She looked better, back to herself again. Her face was no longer sunken in and pale and he noticed how her hair seemed shinier the way that it had once been. Rachel didn't appear to be stick thin anymore and he was so happy, so overjoyed that she was healthy again. There was nothing that made his heart feel lighter than knowing that she was okay.

"I – I don't know, Rach," he whispered softly before he looked down at his feet. "I love you – you know that – but we can't just go right back to where we were. We can't just resume at the spot we were at when we were happy," he explained. He hated himself for seeing the way that her face fell sadly; however, Finn also knew that they couldn't pretend that none of this had ever happened.

"Finn, I'm not asking for that. I'm asking for a new start; a better start. Please… I – I need you, Finn. I don't want to do this without you. I want to go home again," Rachel told him as she stepped closer to him. There wasn't much space left between the two of them and Finn found himself wanting so badly to take her into his arms and to press his lips to hers. However, he was terrified. He was terrified that if they were together again that she would go back to the way that she had been. Finn didn't want to have to go through all the heartbreak all over again.

"Rachel, you just got back. I think that… that maybe the best idea for now is for you to stay with your parents for a little while. I'm proud of you and you know that I love you. Right now I think we need to focus on getting ourselves to better places though, okay? We need to work on ourselves as individuals before we can come together again. If we decide that's what's best."

Finn watched as the love of his life's eyes filled with tears and he felt his heart shatter in his chest as he looked at her. Rachel just nodded and attempted to smile at him before she hurried off, clearly hurt by his reaction. Of course he wanted her. Of course he wanted to be with her again and pretend that none of the bad existed. But Finn understood she needed to focus on getting better. The last thing he wanted to do was distract her from that.

* * *

Over the course of the few weeks that passed after Rachel had gotten home to her parents, the two of them continued to talk over the phone. They made sure not to have the subject of their discussions too intense so that they didn't bring up any of the heartbreak they had been through. Rachel kept repeatedly telling him how she was eating and how great she was feeling and Finn truly was proud of her. He knew how hard it was for her to keep her weight on when she thought she wasn't thin enough and it meant the world to him that she was not only getting better for him and her family, but for herself too. Each and every time that they spoke she seemed stronger and surer of herself and the old Rachel – the one that he had fallen in love with – was finally back.

It was on a Wednesday afternoon when both of them had a day off that they finally saw each other in person once more. Rachel looked amazing as she always did as she came over to the apartment. The light in her dark brown eyes had returned with a new passion in them, something that made Finn's heart swell with happiness. It felt good seeing her back again and not the shell of the person that she had become with her eating disorder.

"I just needed to grab a few things that I left here. I hope you don't mind. When you told me that you had the day off I figured it was the perfect time," Rachel told him as she walked through the front door to the apartment. She turned to face him with a bright smile on her lips, her dress fitting her now healthily thin body nice and snugly. Rachel looked healthy. She looked okay again.

"Yeah, that's fine, Rach. I'll be out here. Just let me know if you need anything," Finn told her as he moved to sit on the couch in the living room. He kicked his feet up on the coffee table as he flicked on the TV. While their friendship was reestablished, their relationship wasn't and he didn't want to make things weird by joining her in the bedroom that they had once shared. Finn kept himself distracted with TV and it wasn't until he heard a loud gasp and a crash in the bedroom that he was pulled from his thoughts.

"Rachel?" he called out as he got up from the couch quickly, hurrying into the bedroom. Immediately thoughts of the worst ran through his head, hoping desperately that she hadn't fainted or gotten hurt. The last thing he wanted was for anything bad to happen to her again. When he arrived in the bedroom, he was met with the sight of something that he had not expected whatsoever. The bedside table that Rachel had moved to the closet as a stepping stool had fallen to the ground, clearly taking her with it since she was seated on the floor with a mess of things around her. However, it wasn't the sight of her in the middle of the room surrounded by toppled over furniture and clothing that shocked him.

In her hands – open – was the small, black velvet box that Finn had bought all those months ago, when he had wanted to propose and make Rachel his for the rest of her life. Her jaw was dropped as she stared down at the diamond ring and it took her a few moments before she dragged her eyes from the jewelry and up towards him. When their eyes met, Finn's face immediately turned dark red and he felt frozen in place as he started at her.

"Finn… what is this?" she asked him, not moving from where she was sitting on the floor, her legs now tucked comfortably underneath her.

"I – um… it's a ring," he answered obviously.

"_Finn_." She gave him a look, one that was so typically Rachel – sassy yet playful and he couldn't help but smile softly in return. He glanced down at the floor and swallowed nervously before he finally answered.

"It's your engagement ring. I – I bought it a few months ago before things got… well, you know."

When he looked back up at her and saw tears falling down her face, Finn looked at her worriedly. Why the hell did it always seem like he was making her cry?

However, before he could even make a move towards her to comfort her, Rachel was on her feet. She ran towards him and jumped into his arms, catching him off guard and causing him to bump the back of his head on the wall behind him. "Ow," he said with a laugh.

Rachel laughed along with him and he was struck with that feeling that he always had of her laugh being wonderfully musical in the best way. He knew he could listen to the expression of her happiness every day for the rest of his life. In fact, he hoped to do just that.

"Ask me."

"Ask you what?" he whispered as he held her tightly. Her tiny feet were resting in front of his, her body tucked against his chest as she kept her arms wrapped around his shoulders. Rachel's one hand was gently rubbing the spot on his head that he had hit against the wall while the other clutched onto the ring.

"_Finn_. Ask me!" she told him, an excited smile on her face as she laughed, looking into his eyes. It had been weeks since they had spoken as boyfriend and girlfriend. Since they had decided to put their feelings aside and focus on themselves as individuals. However, as they looked into each other's eyes, it was almost as if they understood that this was meant to happen. They were meant to be together. This was it.

"Will you marry me?" he asked her, his lopsided grin pulling up at the corner of his lips as he looked down at her. Finn got his answer in the form of a deep, passionate kiss and while things between them still needed to be worked out, he knew everything would be okay. They were going to be together for the rest of their lives and as long as they had that, they were golden.

* * *

AN: Cheesy ending, I know but it makes me happy. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this story and feel free to leave a review!


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